Hey lovely,

A few months after having my first baby, I remember calling my mum:

“How did you know the right thing to do when there is so much conflicting information out there?” I asked. “And when you know the research says one way is ultimately best for the baby, but that’s just not feeling sustainable, how do you give yourself permission not to do it anymore?”

(Just some casual questions, sorry mum 😂).

But honestly, this is something I’ve really struggled with raising kids in the "Information Age".

You see, I have this tendency to do everything “to the best of my ability” and to try very hard to always “make the right choice”… but with so much information at my fingertips, it feels like the standards of what’s good enough get higher and higher — and every little thing that I learn is supposedly best for my kids starts to feel like the thing I should be doing for my kids.

(This is before we even talk about how many different, conflicting views there are.)

It's no wonder I feel overwhelmed by it all.

My mum’s answer that day? “Well, I didn’t have all that information, actually. So I didn’t feel as much pressure, I just did what felt right to me.”

Hmm, was the only solution to my overwhelm throwing my phone into the ocean? I admit I’ve considered it many times over the years, whenever I feel like all this knowing is a burden.

But then... knowledge can also be a gift. There are so many moments that I’ve been able to make genuine progress on things I’ve been stuck with in parenting because of my easy access to information.

And you probably have, too.

So if you run into a challenge with your children’s behaviour, your self, or your relationship with your partner, it's likely you find yourself going digging for more information. If you can understand it, you can fix it, right?

But, there’s a lot of noise. And it usually requires you to give even more, to do even more, without ever considering your capacity.

Which is why I’m convinced that what modern parents need is not more information, but more simplicity.

A clear “map” you can use to find your way back to more ease, enjoyment, and support.

Because doing more isn't always the answer - knowing what the most important things are, and doing them in a way that feels sustainable, is.

You already know a lot. More learning, more information, might help but it also comes at a cost: more pressure.

So before you save another instagram reel, or add another script to your must try list, consider what's needed to make things feel more sustainable.

Do you need to give yourself permission to let go of certain parenting strategies that are only sort of working anyway, but very much burning you out?

Is there one thing that's really eating up a lot of your energy, and solving that would really lighten the load?

Or do you want someone to work it out with for once, someone who can cut through the noise and help you find a way forward that works not just for your family, but for you, too?

In my 1:1 coaching programme, The Anchoring, my goal is to make things feel clearer and simpler for you:

• We build your capacity first of all - you are the foundation!
• You learn to use the same 5 "mindsets of positivity": be curious, be kind, be open, be real, and be appreciative to improve your relationship with yourself, parent more effectively, and reconnect with your partner and inspire more support
• The needs we consider for your children: connection, autonomy, and competence, apply to the whole family, so you can build a home where everyone's wellbeing is supported and everyone contributes
• The parenting practices you learn suit all temperaments, even your most sensitive soul, so you're not having to adapt for each child

If you're interested in figuring out if it's the right fit for you, hit reply to book a free call with me. The beta-launch price is £247 a month.

In support of you,

Kirsti

Mum of two | Positive Psychologist (MAPPCP) and Motherhood Coach

CalmCrafted at Bath Central Library in November

My much-loved classes for parents and little ones are back. Join us and give your strong-willed or sensitive child a head start in managing big feelings. Have fun making a sensory toy together each week, then learn to use it as a calming tool to reduce power struggles and build self-control with your toddler/ preschooler (under 5) or for your baby's sensory development. You'll learn some realistic skills to feel calmer and more confident as a parent, too. We'll be crafting, singing, and learning at Bath Central Library, from Thursday November 5th. Book a £2.50 trial class here. I'd really appreciate you sharing with any friends you think might enjoy this :)

In my world

The other night my youngest had me up for almost 2 hours melting down over every little thing. She isn't exactly a good sleeper anyway, but I co-sleep and go to bed early and I generally feel okay. But after that night, I was acutely aware of how much more negative my thoughts were, how easily frustrated I was, and how hard it was to follow through on the tasks I had planned to get to that day. If you're in the thick of sleep deprivation (and maybe have been for a long time), I want you to know this: lack of sleep reduces access to the brain area responsible for self-control and increases negative thinking. Please don't tell yourself the story that this flat feeling, this short-temperedness, or the lack of productivity is who you are. It's not. It's a symptom of sleep deprivation, and while I know that doesn't make it any easier to deal with, these things do feel that little bit lighter to carry when we aren't beating ourselves up for them.

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