Hey lovely,

Have you ever been in a moment you knew was special, and just felt disconnected from it?

You’re spending time together as a family, the kids are falling about laughing over some silliness, your partner catches your eye and smiles, and you smile back — but somehow the warmth of the moment doesn’t quite reach you.

Maybe it’s a blanket sense of exhaustion that keeps you numb.

Maybe it’s the way your to-do list keeps tugging at your attention, pulling you out of the moment.

It’s a painful feeling: almost a sense of nostalgia for the life you’re living right now, in all its richness, but that you sometimes just can’t seem to connect with.

From there the thoughts descend quickly, landing tight in your chest:

“This is meant to be the best time of my life.”

“I wanted this for so long.”

“What’s wrong with me?”

If that’s you, lovely, I want you to pause and really take this in, because there’s nothing wrong with you and I know you love your life — and you deserve to feel in love with it.

The truth is, just because you’re in a good moment, doesn’t mean enjoying it is a given.

It’s one of the things psychology-as-usual missed for decades. It wasn’t until the founding of Positive Psychology that there was finally some research into what it takes to enjoy the good in your life.

And, as it turns out, it’s a complex interplay of a number of things:

Consider, for example, that you need to know how to engage your brain to stay present in this lovely moment, even though your to-do list still looms and the mental load is heavy.

Knowing how to overcome the brain’s natural tendency to focus on negativity and intentionally turn up the dial on joy, gratitude, and connection is also extremely useful.

And (although few of us realise this) having truly effective ways of coping with your negative emotions is actually key, because if you’re numbing the hard feelings, it turns out you stop feeling the good, too.

This is why resilience is not just about bouncing back from life’s challenges, but also about being able to enjoy it to the fullest.

My upcoming coaching programme brings you back to joy and real, felt gratitude using the science of Positive Psychology, so you can truly soak up the best moments of your motherhood in all their messy glory.

If that appeals to you — maybe you’d be interested in helping me create the programme?

I’m still looking for a few more mums to chat with me about their experiences in motherhood so I can ensure my course design is truly transformative. In exchange, I’ll give you a free 1:1 coaching session worth £55 on a topic of your choice or free access to my Realistic Self-Care mini course when it’s released later this year.

This offer won’t be around much longer, so hit reply if you’re interested in snagging one of the last spots.

In support of you,

Kirsti

Mum of two | Coaching Psychologist (MAPPCP)

In my world

Winter always seems to have me wanting to hibernate. Despite my best intentions to stay present with posting on social media come December, somehow I always end up putting Instagram aside and percolating new ideas for the next year instead. This time, I’m wondering if perhaps this might be what January is actually about: not lofty goal-setting and pressure to succeed, but a quieter sort of ambition, one where we reconnect with our sense of purpose and anchor more deeply into what matters. My wonderful business coach Sarah Clarke first introduced me to this idea that my business (and myself) might be seasonal — and the nature-loving, deep-feeling, multi-passionate side of me is happy to embrace it. Have you found yourself living more quietly this Winter? What have you been reflecting on?