Hey lovely,
When you imagine the extended time together that a holiday brings, there’s a certain image in your mind:
Bare feet, ice creams in hand, and the sort of connection that comes from laughing yourselves silly together in the warm summer sun.
You plan time away together for these precious moments, but when the week actually arrives, you’re reminded that life with kids comes with some ever-present challenges:
There comes a morning full of whining, complaining, and dragging their heels through an experience they’re privileged to have 🙄
Your sensitive child melts down so badly you end up leaving 🫣
You lose another exhausting hour to trying to convince them to please.just.go.to.sleep 😤
… And you ultimately find yourself questioning, “Is this even worth it?! Maybe we should just stay home next time.” (Maybe you’re already living out that choice).
Some part of you knows you’ve got to try and surrender to the chaos, because you can’t truly control what your kids do or don’t do, but that’s easier said than done, right? The reality is that their whining sets you off, the meltdown overstimulates you, and the bedtime battle feels like a metaphor for just how little space you truly have to yourself.
But what if it wasn’t so much about “surrendering” to the chaos but about anchoring yourself through it all?
Feeling less affected by their behaviour and other things out of your control because you began the day feeling good (again), and know how to calm yourself down when you are triggered.
Navigating tricky parenting moments with confidence, because you have frameworks and mindsets that call forward your best, intuitive parenting self.
Feeling closer to your partner in these moments after seeing how you handle them as a team, because communicating your needs no longer feels like a minefield.
I know I say it over and over — but just like daily life as a parent, your holiday shouldn’t feel like a test of who can keep calm on the outside while losing it on the inside.
The right mindset, right emotional management tools, and right support from your partner (because you have the right communication) will help you to feel anchored, so that enjoying your holiday can naturally follow from there.
Some things to reflect on:
- Do my expectations for a holiday with children feel realistic? How does positively or negatively impact my ability to enjoy myself?
- If I could anchor myself through the chaos of a holiday with kids, what might I be confident enough to do?
In support of you,
Kirsti
Mum of two | Coaching Psychologist (MAPPCP)
Can you help?
I’m still looking to speak to a couple more mums about their experience in motherhood, in order to shape my upcoming programmes The Anchoring and Proud of the Parent You Are. If you feel like you’re losing yourself in being everything to everybody else, questioning whether you’re doing the right thing as a parent, and wondering how you've ended up carrying the mental/ emotional load at home, you’re exactly who I’d like to talk to. We'll meet for a casual chat about what you feel impacts your wellbeing right now, and I'll show you the outline of my programme so you can tell me if it resonates or not. Zero-pitch promise.
In my world
I am loving the fact that summer seems to have arrived early this year. It's probably common knowledge at this point that I struggle with the grey, drizzly English weather as a South African used to 300 sunny days a year, and for a long time my husband and I toyed with the idea of moving somewhere warmer. We ultimately decided to stay in the UK though, convinced by how lovely Bath is in so many ways, and realised we had accidentally stumbled upon our personal formula for "shortening the winter" in our search for somewhere new. We've decided we wouldn't want to miss an inch of the gorgeous sunny months here in Bath, so plan to always stick around May - September. October and April we hope to be lucky enough to seek out some European (or South African) sunshine, and December to take advantage of a quick trip to somewhere snowy! While I may long for South Africa often, I want to appreciate all the good here, and not being miles away from travelling Europe is a definite plus.
