Hey Reader,
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Hey mama,

If you’re gearing up to celebrate Christmas, you might feel this sense that it’s all on you.

All on you to consider all the individual likes and preferences before choosing what to cook.

All on you to carry the emotional load of the whole family, making sure that the kids are handling being out of routine and all the extra stimulation, so you can try avoid the big meltdown.

Just like it was all on you to come up with thoughtful gift ideas, and buy them, and wrap them, the Santa gifts distinct in their own kept-secret wrapping paper.

It’s a lot to carry. And it can start to feel like more of a burden than a blessing.

Something you have to do — because if you don’t, who will?

But that’s not the Christmas any of us envisioned. You want to enjoy yourself, to feel a deep sense of purpose in serving your family, and to feel grateful for all you have.

Today, I want to invite you to make a couple key shifts in your perspective so that you can find just that:
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The way you approach an experience can completely transform your experience of it. It’s easy to get bogged down with everything you have to do, but try to lead with how you want to feel, instead.
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I recommend choosing a feeling word to lead with: it might be “peace”, “joy”, “generosity”, or “gratitude”. The key is that you remember it’s you who wants to feel that way — this season is not about creating joy for your family while you become increasingly frazzled.

Your chosen word can help guide you in what you take on verses what you let go of this week: that family event, that extra bit of magic you choose to include, does it lead you closer to that feeling? If not, do you have a good reason for keeping it?

Second, try to reframe the ways you serve your family this Christmas as a “want to” rather than a “have to”. When you notice yourself feeling like you’re forced to do something, take a pause and question whether it’s really something you would choose to let go of. Often, you’ll find that you do want to do keep doing that thing because it does matter to you — in which case, own it as a desire rather than feeling like the victim of that choice.
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And if it’s something you don’t want to do? The words “I can’t” are powerful and highly recommended at this time. Examples: “I can’t wrap the gifts this year / can’t write the Christmas cards this year. Can you handle it” or “I can’t do all the cooking this year. Could each family bring a side please?”

Wishing you a festive season that feels good for everyone, including you.
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Finally, I just wanted to say thank you for opening and reading this newsletter over the past year. I love writing it, and I love getting your responses, and I look forward to connecting more in 2026. Resilient in Motherhood is something very close to my heart, and it means a lot that you give me some of your precious time and headspace when motherhood is so busy.

In support of you,

Kirsti

Mum of two | Coaching Psychologist (MAPPCP)

In my world

Christmas is a quiet one for us this year, as we’ll be celebrating just as our family of four. There’s something that feels very special about that to me: we get to choose how to do the day, to work with the girls’ routines, and celebrate our family unit. There’s also something I find hard about it: knowing the family are celebrating together in South Africa and we’re the only ones not there, comes with a certain loneliness. I’m going to hold space for that feeling, while focusing on all the things I’m so grateful to have: good health, a beautiful home, each other.