Hey lovely,

Being in community with other mums is often said to be a way that we can feel less alone in the trenches of motherhood, and that can certainly be true.

But what about those of us who sometimes feel more alone after spending time around other parents?

Joining a baby-and-me postnatal yoga class and noticing how all the other babies chill out next to their mums — while yours screams unless you hold them the entire time.

Having your child be the one who can’t seem to follow the instructions at gymnastics, who melts down in protest when you try to get them to pay attention — while everyone else’s children quietly do as they’re told.

Or taking your preschooler to that dance class you know they love, then feeling tense because they cling to you and refuse to go in — while the other kids don’t even give their mums a second look as they wave goodbye.

These can be lonely, worry-filled moments. They can make you think things like:

“What am I doing wrong?”

“Why isn’t my child like everyone else’s — is something wrong?”

And,

“Nobody understands what parenting is like for me."

That’s why I’ve launched CalmCrafted, a parent and child meet-up specifically for those of us with sensitive, strong-willed and “spicy” children.

Because isn’t it time that we feel part of a community that actually gets it?

That we get advice that actually works for our one-of-a-kind child?

Roughly 15-20% of us feel things more deeply than most (Aron & Aron, 1997).

You’re not doing anything wrong, and there’s nothing wrong with your child for experiencing the world this way. I have no doubt it will be their biggest strength one day.

But these children do need more support from us, and so it makes sense that you probably need more support too.

An anchor, of sorts, against some stormier waters.

Parenting these kids can be lonely. My wish for you is that you find other mums who know what it’s like to navigate a forty minute toddler meltdown on the side of the road (hello 👋) or be constantly clocking your child’s mood to predict when things are about to go south, and can say, “I know, this is a lot, and you’re doing a great job”.

And if you haven’t got that community yet — come along to CalmCrafted. We’re kicking off with a session focused on having a happier, easier summer with your big-feeling kiddos on the Saturday 18th of July.

Here for you,

Kirsti

Mum of two | Positive Psychologist (MAPPCP)

Mixed feelings about the summer?

Join my Smoother Summer meetup on Saturday 18th of July at 10am and enjoy making a sparkling sun-catcher with your child. This is a morning focused on everyone having a happier, easier summer when there are big-feelings abound. We’ll be looking at how you help your sensitive and spicy kids to feel settled with all the changes in routine, and how to boost their resilience so they handle transitions (like going out or having to leave a fun place) with fewer power struggles. We’ll also be spending some rare time considering *you* and your happiness for once! You deserve a summer that feels magical and memorable without the desperate-for-school-to-start feeling afterwards. More info here. ​

In my world

I haven’t been all that consistent in sending these emails lately, and for that I apologise. As client work has picked up, this is one particular ball I ended up putting down — but writing this now, I’m reminded of how much I truly enjoy it. So consider this my tentative promise to be in touch more often.